Babysitting Shinobi
by yummyaoicupcake
Summary: Babysitting course, mandatory for ALL shinobi. What has Iruka gotten himself into?


"I wanna be Sakura's partner!"

"I don't see anyone stopping you, idiot."

"Hey! Don't call me that!"

"Okay...idiot."

Iruka sighed. He was being pushed to the limit. Just when he'd thought he was done with the two genin, they had come back. Under Tsunade's orders, every shinobi in the village (ANBU included,) had to come back to the academy once a week for a month for a childcare course.

Yes, you heard that right. A childcare course. Konoha's shinobi (who all had the attention span of a metal spoon) were learning how to babysit.

He sighed again, hoping to get their attention. The banter between Sasuke and Naruto was perfectly normal. In fact, if the two _weren't_ fighting, it was a sign that something was seriously wrong.

But for god's sake, why couldn't they come with a mute button?

"Sasuke! Naruto! Care to join us?" His annoyance at the two showed in the sensei's voice. "One more word out of either of your mouths, and you FAIL!" the look he gave the boys would have stopped Spartans in their tracks.

"But..." Naruto half-whimpered.

"That's it! you both -"

"Wait!" Sakura looked just as surprised as (if not more than) everyone else to hear her own voice call out.

"Wait?" she repeated, the word sounding weaker now that her brain had caught up with her mouth. Not wanting to shout out her plan to the entire class, she rushed up to Iruka-sensei and whispered something in his ear.

After hearing her (brilliant) plan, he sent her back to her seat, and turned to Sasuke and Naruto. They shuddered at the look on his face, knowing that something bad was going to happen at their expense. Sakura was glancing nervously at the two every five seconds, hoping that she'd done the right thing. Meanwhile, Iruka was grinning like the Cheshire cat on happy pills.

"Sasuke! Naruto! You two are partners!"

The classroom got so silent you could have heard a pin drop. But in this case, the only thing dropping was Naruto's jaw. For once in his life, he was speechless. No one in the whole _village_ who knew the two boys was brave (or insane) enough to pair them up without the supervision of at least a jounin.

But apparently Iruka-sensei was different. Or just plain crazy. The boys weren't really sure which.

"Wait a sec!" some random person shouted. "What's this project even about?"

The cat-on-crack grin was back. Iruka lifted a bundle from behind his desk and carried it over to Sasuke, whose glare had gotten even more...glare-y.

Opening the bundle, he revealed a plastic baby doll, one of the types that cried and went to the bathroom. It's plastic head was bald, and wearing pink footsie pajamas.

"Congratulations! It's a girl!"

o.O.o.O.o

"I. Can't. Believe. This," Sasuke was steaming, muttering all manner of swears under his breath.

After congratulating the not so happy "couple", Iruka had gone on to explain the project. The class would be divided into groups of two, a girl and a boy. (There was one more boy than girl in the class, so this arrangement worked out perfectly.) Each pair would be assigned a "baby" to take care of. They would have to feed it, change it, burp it, and figure out what was wrong when it started bawling its head off through it's built in speakers. Nin-proof speakers. (So no one would be able to disable them and then put them back together on the last day to avoid actually taking care of the thing.) If the baby came back in one piece, the group got an A. If not, a letter grade was taken off for every missing limb or body part.

Of course, to Naruto, an F was looking pretty good at the moment. Having to spend a whole week with Sasuke would be _torture! _Of course, in his fury, he neglected to realize that they were on the same team, and that they had to spend time together anyways.

Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't seem to have an opinion, but stayed his normal moody self.

All in all, the mood in the classroom was not an overly happy one. In fact, it was downright dismal.

Sakura, ever one to look on the bright side of things, just smiled and ignored (or at least _tried_ to ignore) the glares passing between her two teammates, which always tended to precede breaking things or awkward silences. Luckily, it was the latter of the two, instead of a nuclear battlefield.

"Sooo...The weather sure is nice today!" she commented, trying to lighten the mood at least a little, but only succeeding in making things worse when she got no answer.

Then, a couple awkward seconds later, they both turned from glaring at each other and responded, in unison, with a sharp "Hai!" and went back to their unofficial staring contest.

_This is going to be a loooooong week_, Sakura thought.

o.O.o.O.o

"You forgot to feed the baby!"

"It was your turn to feed it!"

"It's a _her, _not an _it!_"

"If you say so."

Kakashi had had enough. He strode over to the two genin, grabbed a handful of each of their hair, and bashed their heads together, causing their forehead protectors to make a loud clanging sound.

Clang.

Scilence.

Explosion.

"WHAT THE _HELL _WAS THAT FOR?" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs.

"It's the consequence for being an _idiot," _Kakashi scowled and stalked away.

"He's got a point, you know," Sasuke's face was as perfectly straight as always. "You _are_ an idiot."

"Takes one to know one, teme," he retorted.

Sasuke scowled, but he didn't lash out at the kyuubi boy like he usually did. Naruto found this a bit strange, but he didn't say anything. He knew that Sasuke would have his reasons – no matter how pointless they may be – and that there was no way the avenger would tell _him_ what was wrong.

And Naruto wasn't the only one who had noticed that Sasuke wasn't fighting back as much. But Sakura, in all her fangirl obsessions, had noticed what the blond had not. Only one person was not lately the subject of the Uchiha's wrath. And that person was Naruto himself.

As to _why_ this was happening, Sakura had no idea. She was observant, but she wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. Because of her lack of intellectual abilities when it came to social matters, she decided then that she would ask Sasuke why he was being so nice.

"Sasuke-kun? Why are you being so much nicer to Naruto-kun?" she asked bluntly once the blond ninja had stormed off.

Sakura wasn't exactly sure what she had been expecting as an answer, but what she had _not_ been anticipating was the bright shade of red Sasuke turned.

Now, Uchiha Sasuke had never run away from anything in his life. When Itachi murdered his family, he hadn't hesitated to look at his parents dead bodies, lying cold and clammy on the floor. Even when his brother had attempted to kill him, he didn't run. He stayed right where he was. Every fight he'd ever fought, he had won or lost, but he had _never_ run away.

Until now.

Leaving a very confused Sakura behind, literally in the dust, the avenger bolted into the woods.

o.O.o.O.o

It was Iruka's last class of the day; a group of perverted jounin who had not stopped making sex jokes since they walked in the door.

Well, since they busted the door down, and attempted to fix it with duct tape and a piece of chewing gum. (They were jounin; they _had_ to be resourceful.)

Genma had been accused of trying to molest the plastic doll, and Anko had been accused of watching him. Hearing this, Raidou stood up for his lover, and Ibiki, blushing in a _very_ un-Ibiki-like way, had come to Anko's defense. (Even though she wasn't denying a thing.) Soon, a war of words had started, everyone yelling and screaming to be heard over the others.

_Really, _Iruka thought. _They're worse than the eight year olds. But they _do_ know a lot more swears._

He really had no other choice...

Iruka had given up his days as a prankster as soon as he passed the chuunin exams, but he kept a few old...supplies...in his desk and at home, just in case there was any kind of _emergency_.

And this definitely qualified as an emergency.

He reached into his desk, grabbed a small packet of powder, climbed on _top_ of his desk, and performed a few hand signs, throwing the packet into the air.

Within the next millisecond, every person in the room, with the exception of Iruka himself (and Kakashi's hair for some unknown reason) looked like a giant creamsicle.

But at least they shut their gobs. For a full three seconds, anyway. As soon as she had gotten over the shock of turning orange, Anko, having been quiet for the longest period of time in her life, turned to glare at Iruka. The venom in her eyes made the teacher wonder if Medusa really was a myth. Could she have been reborn in Anko? Was she going to turn him into stone?

No... he flexed a finger. He wasn't a solid block of marble, as far as he could tell.

"Iruka..." the deep, threatening voice brought him back from his thoughts of Greek mythology.

Timidly, he looked up. Every person in the room was glaring at him.

Everyone, that is, except Kakashi. Why wasn't he glaring? Could it be because his hair was spared? Why _was_ his hair still still silver? Was the powder defective? Or did the hair gel Kakashi use have magical powers? What if-"

Wait a second. Iruka was stuck in a room full of angry jounin, and he was thinking about the magical properties of Kakashi's _hair gel_?

He _had_ to work on staying on track. This really wasn't helping the situation in the least.

Speaking of the situation...

"Iruka! Undo this _now_!" Anko demanded, eyes still blazing fiercely.

"Erm... about that..." Iruka stuttered meekly.

"It _does_ come off, right?" she was invading his personal bubble now, and it wasn't the most pleasant of situations.

"Yes," he answered truthfully. "It does come off."

He could practically head the gears turning in her head, looking for loopholes in that sentence.

"How. _Long?_" She looked like she would strangle him as soon as she got the chance.

"F-five days..."

A lot happened in the next three seconds. (You'd think that not much could happen in such a short span of time, but then again, you probably don't live in a village full of shinobi.)

Anko lunged at Iruka. She probably would have maimed him, if not for Kakashi stepping between the crazed kuonichi and himself. In one fluid movement, he grabbed her wrist and flipped her onto her back mercilessly.

Ibiki rushed over to see what was wrong with Anko, and Gai started fangirl – erm...fan_boy_ing, squeeing and gushing about Kakashi's Cool Youthfulness. (He was Talking In Capitals again)

And after those three seconds had passed, and Iruka had gotten over the shock of almost being killed, Iruka screamed.

Like a little girl.

And they all shut up.

_Finally._

"Now are you done? Or do you all want permanent purple hair to match the rest of you?"

Anko didn't look all that concerned, but she knew that if she acted up and got the rest of the jounin funny colored hair, she would have to face their wrath. And even Anko didn't have enough courage to deal with _that._ (Iruka could faintly recall the last time she'd defied the rest of them. It had involved shuriken, ketchup, and Gai singing opera. To say the least, it hadn't been a pretty sight.) So she stayed in her seat, still and sullen, before having a "sudden realization".

"Yo, Bakashi!"

"Yes, Anko?"

"Why'd you stand up for Iruka sensei? Do you luuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrve him?"

Both Kakashi and Iruka (who had turned to write something on the blackboard) were blushing madly. Luckily for Iruka, he wasn't facing them, so his face couldn't be seen, and for the copy-nin, his mask and new skin-tone hid this fact from everyone in the room. Who knew what they'd say if they saw him blush at that suggestion? Probably some sick jokes about procreating gay nin and yaoi IchaIcha. (Hey, it was only one volume out of eighteen! So what if it was the one he read the most? They didn't know that!)

"Everyone knows your...orientation, Kakashi-san," Gai stated solemnly. But being Gai, he couldn't stay solemn for long, and brightened up immediately, saying, "And I, For One, Am Glad That You Have Found Your True, Youthful Self!"

Okay, scratch that. Maybe they _did_ know.

But just just because Iruka had a yummy behind (and everyone knew it) did not mean that Kakashi was in love.

But then again, the butterflies he got in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw the chuunin might. And the random bouts of daydreaming involving Iruka and...dresses...but let's not delve into that matter.

Yet even though the copy-nin was head over heels for the teacher, he refused to admit it, even to himself. And the fact that Iruka was oblivious didn't help matters in the slightest, either.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei!" Anko had a lecherous grin on her face, something that could never be good.

Iruka turned away from the blackboard with a disapproving look on his face. "Yes, Anko-san?"

"Kakashi wants to know If you'll go on a date with him."

Unfazed, the chuunin turned back to the blackboard. "If Kakashi wants to ask me out, he can do it himself." At this rate, he was never going to finish the lesson he'd had planned for today.

Kakashi shot a glare at Anko. "What was that for?" he hissed, low enough so that Iruka wouldn't hear.

He neglected, however, to notice the grin start to spread on Raidou's face. "Will you go out to dinner with me, Iruka-sensei?" the scarred nin asked in a perfect imitation of Kakashi's voice. The copy-nin switched the subjects of his glaring, but did not protest.

Cheers of "C'mon Iruka-sensei!" and "Say yes!" rang throughout the classroom. The teacher sighed. What had Tsunade been thinking when she'd put him in charge of a class full of Konoha's elite?

He turned around a second time, a look of defeat spread across his childish features. "Hai," he replied, as shouts of "Iruka you dog!" covered up Kakashi's groan.

He wanted this, but something (mainly the expression of fangirlish glee on Anko's face) told him that something tonight was sure to go wrong.

o.O.o.O.o

Meanwhile, in the woods just outside Konoha, Sasuke was thinking. And moping. But mostly thinking. Since any intelligent thoughts were wiped clean out of his head when he was around Naruto, and since he was finally out of the other boy's presence, he needed to think some things over. Like _why_ coherent thoughts were impossible around the kyuubi boy.

He could distantly remember one of Sakura's babblings about love. About how being around someone you were in love with turned your brain to mush, and then Naruto retorting that that explained _a lot_.

He also remembered being surprised at the blond's sarcasm. He'd never been this mean to Sakura before. Did that mean that he didn't like her anymore?

And why did that thought make Sasuke's heart feel so...fuzzy?

No. Nononononono! He couldn't be in love with _Naruto!_ That would be...

Oh Kami-sama. He was in love with Naruto. (This was when the moping started.) How the _hell_ had he allowed this to happen? He was the avenger! He didn't have time for silly things like love!

How had he gotten himself into this mess?

o.O.o.O.o

All in all, Kakashi and Iruka's date was going pretty well. They'd started off with some witty banter on their way to Ichiraku's and proceeded to talk about team seven throughout dinner. (Apparently, of all the things they could talk about, that was the only common ground they could find.)

o.O.o.O.o

All in all, it was a pretty boring date. At least according to Anko, who was watching them from her seat at the bar across the street. When it came time for them to pay, she decided to follow them and create a little...excitement. She moved in on her targets, ready to make her move, when Kakashi suddenly pushed Iruka against the side of the building they were passing, and kissed him! (she was too surprised to even attempt a look at the copy-nin's face. Which she wouldn't have been able to see anyway, of course.) After snapping a few pictures, she ran off into the night to make more mischief. (1)

o.O.o.O.o

Anko was following them, and Kakashi had a feeling she would be until they did something exciting enough to fulfill her fangirlish dreams.

So of course, he took advantage of the opportunity, even if it meant the teacher would probably kill him later.

No one was more surprised than Iruka when Kakashi kissed him. They were just walking down the street like normal people, when the man turned around, grabbing his hands and pinning him against the wall of a nearby building. With a devilish grin, he pulled down his mask, leaned closer and pressed their lips together. For the first couple seconds it was awkward, but after that Iruka melted into the kiss, loving every moment. His hands rested on the small of the older man's back, pulling him closer, while Kakashi's arms were wrapped around Iruka's neck. Iruka could faintly hear a clicking sound, almost like a camera, but he payed it no mind. He was too lost in the kiss.

Too lost in Kakashi.

o.O.o.O.o

When Anko had disappeared, Kakashi pulled away. "S-sorry about that, sensei. It was just...Anko and she...following...I – erm. Well... distraction, and I'm... Gomen!" he muttered, looking at the ground. Iruka was probably ready to kill him.

"Kakashi, do you like me?"

The jounin looked up, the question taking him by surprise.

"O-of course I do!" he said, eyes wide.

Iruka smiled. The infamous copy-nin stood before him, stuttering and spluttering. He was at Iruka's very beck and call. The smile turned into a full fledged Anko-worthy grin, and he walked away.

But it had only been a few steps before he whirled around, pressing Kakashi against the same wall he'd just been pushed against, the grin still not leaving his face.

"I like you too," he smirked, and then pressed their lips together a second time. This kiss was much more heated than the first, passion and lust ruling it instead of the timid first time. When they pulled away, they were both breathless, lips bruised but smiling.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Kakashi asked his chuunin.

"I'm not an uke."

"Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we?" Grabbing Iruka's hand, he performed a few hand seals to bring them back to his apartment.

And it turned out Iruka was right. He wasn't an uke.

And Kakashi couldn't sit down for a week.

o.O.o.O.o

Sasuke had a problem, (as you would already know if you've been paying even the slightest bit of attention to what's happened so far in this fic.) and it wasn't about to solve itself. So he solemnly swore to himself that the next time he saw Naruto, he would confess his love.

Of course, the next time he saw Naruto, the baby was crying.

The time after that, it needed to be changed.

And of course it had to be put to bed sometime... and read a bedtime story too!

By the end of the day, Sasuke was exhausted, and out of excuses to prolong the wait any longer. He took a deep breath, marched up to Naruto, and smiled what he hoped was a charming smile.

"Hey, dobe."

"What, teme?"

Sasuke didn't answer. Imagine that; the big bad avenger chickening out.

No! He couldn't be afraid! This was just another way to prove himself! (He and Rock Lee really aren't that different, if you think about it...)

"I... er...-" Just as Sasuke was about to stammer out a confession of love, something very surprising happened.

Naruto kissed him.

Sasuke gasped at the contact, and the kyuubi boy took that chance to deepen the kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance, Sasuke eventually succumbing (that's our lil uke!) to Naruto's will, letting out a small moan when the boy started to bite and suck on his lower lip. Hands were tangled in hair, and fingers were struggling at buttons and zippers when they were finally interrupted.

"Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!" Sasuke turned around and glared at the offending plastic doll, before grabbing it and chucking it out the window.

"Serves it right," Naruto said darkly.

Sasuke just smirked. "I love you, idiot."

"I love you too, bastard."

**(1) I was having trouble ending that paragraph. Sorry if that makes her sound like a leprechaun...**

**A/N:This fic was a birthday present for my friend Kat, so happy birthday! She got a different version with a totally different ending though, cuz I finished it at 4 in the morning the day of her birthday... I bet nobody cares... oh well. It's better now though, and it's the longest one shot I've ever written! (11 pages!)**


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